Help and advice

First, there is no hurry. Sit with your loved one if you wish, call close family, and let the moment breathe. If the death was expected and a doctor can certify it, call us whenever you are ready — day or night — and we will bring them gently into our care.

Next, gather one or two practical things: the person's GP details and any wishes they left about burial, cremation or their funeral director. Everything else — music, flowers, readings — can be decided over the coming days, together and without pressure.

Finally, look after yourselves. Eat, rest, accept help when neighbours offer it. Grief is exhausting work, and you do not have to carry these days alone — our team is a telephone call away at every step.

Start with the medical certificate from the GP or hospital, which lets you register the death at the register office within five days. Take along the person's birth certificate, marriage certificate and NHS number if you have them — the registrar will tell you if anything is missing.

At registration you will receive the death certificate and a green form for the burial or cremation, which you pass to us. Ask for several certified copies of the death certificate: banks, insurers and pension providers each ask for one.

Then work through one organisation at a time — bank, utilities, council, insurers — keeping a simple list of who you have called. Bring the papers to your arrangement meeting and we will go through them with you, line by line.

Think of their life in music: the song they hummed in the kitchen, the band of their youth, the hymn their mother sang. One piece for the entrance, one for a quiet moment of reflection, and one to close — three is plenty.

Do not worry about what is traditional. A favourite pop song or a football anthem can move a congregation more than any classic, because it is unmistakably theirs. If you are unsure, our organists and celebrants know hundreds of services and will gladly suggest.

Tell us your choices a few days before the service so we can check recordings and timings. And keep a spare in mind — sometimes, hearing it played, a family finds a piece too painful, and that is perfectly alright.

Notice how they listen. A good funeral director asks about the person who died before talking about prices, never hurries you, and answers questions plainly. Trust the feeling in the room — you should leave calmer than you arrived.

Ask for a written estimate with every cost itemised, and whether their prices are fixed or third-party fees may change. Ask who will be there on the day, and whether you can meet them beforehand. Clear answers to all three are the mark of an honest firm.

Finally, choose someone local who will still be there afterwards — for ashes, memorials and the anniversaries that follow. A funeral director is not for a day but for the years of remembering, so choose people you would welcome back.